TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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