she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
