And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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