my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize