I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
