He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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