i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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