I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
