But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
soo... how was my night?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
