Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
