We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
