It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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