Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
