I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
