I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
