I accidentally had phone sex last night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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