is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
