Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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