I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
