Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
