He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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