Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
