i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
