i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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