I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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