Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
