i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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