Banned from zoo.
Again?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
