Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
