We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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