I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Randomize
