i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We just shotgunned beers for America
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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