I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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