Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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