You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize