ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
