At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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