Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
