see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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