He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
