OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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