the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
