oh god the rape fog is back!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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