hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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