420 ftw
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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