I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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