Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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