I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
