You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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