can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
honey bunches of taint.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
