I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
