so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
