i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
