If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
