There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
