Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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