If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
