This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize