yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
