Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
