so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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