Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize