You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently you make a good broom.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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