the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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