Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
