call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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