physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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