i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize