conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
